Your Heart is your Love, Your love is your Family, Your family is your Future, Your future is your Destiny, Your destiny is your Ambition, Your ambition is your Aspiration, Your aspiration is your Motivation, Your motivation is your Belief, Your belief is your Peace, Your peace is your Target, Your target is Heaven, Heaven is no fun without FRIENDS!
I got sent this in an email and it struck chords with me in some ways but I altered it and THIS really applies to my life!
Your heart is your love, Your love is your horses, Your horses are your future, Your future is your destiny, Your destiny is your ambition, Your ambition is your aspiration, Your aspiration is your motivation, Your motivation is your belief, Your belief is your Savvy, Your Savvy is your target, Your target is heaven, And your heaven is spending hours each day achieving true unity your horses!
Today was my first go playing friendly game on the move with Lily and it went pretty well. First time I started it I spooked her but after that she was a bit sticky-footed but she was blinking after a while and responsive to where I was asking her to go. My arms were killing me afterwards. So she didn't associate her being caught with the scary friendly game on the move I hung out with her before and after whilst she grazed.
Arran said on Wednesday that I was getting too good at the catching game with her so now I've got to be a bit clumsy for her to be braver. It makes sense because if she cuts herself whilst I'm away, no one would be able to catch her to clean her up. So bearing that in mind I was a little bit laid back and ignoring her when she pulls her 'but I can't possibly do that!' face rather than going gently gently because she should be fine with being caught now.
She followed me around after I turned her out so I obviously didn't offend her too much! Sometimes I think the tough love, confident approach does work with the more introverted types because if I acted as unconfident as her I wouldn't be a very good leader. Its just knowing when to be gentle and slow or confident and having a 'you'll be fine!!' attitude in situations. I've got a 50/50 chance of getting it right!
This evening I had a lesson with Arran and it really helped clear a few things up in my head as always. I played with Benji whilst he played with Lily and taught me at the same time. My field-neighbour was also having a lesson with him this evening as well, she's traditional but is at her wit's end with her daughter's horse. For some reason she thought he'd said 7 so he arrived at my stables for 6:30 but then had to go to her's for an hour. Whilst he was gone he asked me to work on the friendly game on the move. I told him that I thought Benji had some difficulties with the friendly game, particularly with the carrotstick, and that I had been playing without that week. He pointed out that although playing without the carrotstick would build the relationship, as soon as I started using it again we'd be back at square one so to work through the fear. First of all Benji went starey and couldn't maintain gait or pace very well but as I kept on asking him to move his feet around the place he got better. He kept crowding me and putting his shoulder too close for comfort so Arran suggested to try asking him to move sideways from zone 1. It really helped getting him to go away and around me rather than just going round in little circles in my space. Once he was blinking and keeping the same speed within walk and trot we moved on.
Once Arran had come back it was starting to get dark and I had wanted to ride so he said we'd ride in the dark and keep on line whilst it's still light. I thought he was going a bit barmy but it's great for your feel and seat. We then played figure 8s to improve our change of direction and asking him to switch eyes easier as he doesn't like taking one eye off me for the other. Arran also mentioned that Benji seems to only be able to relax when playing if he puts me in zone 1 which is true so the friendly game on the move and figure 8s will help that. We played figure 8s in between some barrels and then over jumps and Benji was so uncoordinated bless him. I talked to Arran briefly about my concerns over Benji being introverted and sometimes right brain but he didn't seem worried and said that he was a great left brain pony. That's relieving to know and then I started thinking again and couldn't decide whether Benji's a Left brain introvert with extroverted tendencies or vice versa, Arran said only time will tell and that Benji will reveal his true character to me. At least now I can stop worrying that I've misread Benji completely, he is left brain but he does get unconfident and introverted from time to time.
We then rode when it got dark and Arran gave me some great tips regarding asking Benji politely not to eat unless I say he can and how to get a nice back up and a better indirect rein. Arran said Benji likes to keep his mind busy whilst being ridden so practising plenty of lateral flexion, indirect reins and back ups will help achieve obedience. He was having real tantrums when I was asking him to do things rather than just go where he wants and eat when he wants which made me chuckle. It was cool riding in the dark and I saw more than I expected I would be able to.
So we have plenty of homework - friendly game on the move with Benji and Lily. With Benji: Figure 8s on line with a variety of objects and to practise getting my lateral flexion light, back ups better and a more responsive indirect rein. Eventually he'd like me to be able to do a nice indirect rein leading into a direct rein with a barrel bend (i.e. pushing Benji into the circle by leaning out).
After writing about 900 words in my notes on Benji's confidence in his leader (i.e. me) I felt confident that I'd have a good session today whether he was right brain or left brain. I still didn't use my carrotstick which helped things but it really won't help things in the long run. We went out of the field into the other and I drove him from zone 3, he's getting a better understanding of wiggling the rope means go down a transition which'll help our transitions On Line when we go back to them. He was confident and left brain for the most part and we went allover the place. I then drove him to the fence and we worked on sideways, rewarding the littlest of tries. After a successful few attempts on the right side I tried on his left side. He thought I was asking him to go back so once I was clearer about what I was asking; it was as if he said "Ohhh! You mean this?" and he did 5 beautiful sideways steps with just a phase 2. I was so impressed that I kept the session short and sweet and turned him out on that good note.
50/50 Left-Brain/Right-Brain but I stopped him from 'going there' for the most part!
I spent most of my day up the yard today, I can't believe where the time went and I am immensly worn out now. Worth it though! Lily and I hung out, I drove her into the bigger field so she could graze, we had a good time and she was nice and calm without being introverted. Today was session three of 22ft line desensitisation for Benji and it went well, a little introversion but not much. We then hung out, played a lot of porcupine and then I turned the 22ft into a hackamore with a very long leadrope (bless him and his little neck!). Played more with porcupine and driving game so he was light, responsive and left brain. Then I hopped on him in the grass 'school' and we practised hindquarter disengagements. He was very LBi in the 'school' and we were both bored so I opened the 'school gate' and we moseyed round the one acre field on a casual rein. He behaved very well and I was proud of myself for believing that positive things will happen rather than negative provided I prepared.
Benji was left brain today so I'll say hooray and lets keep our fingers crossed! :)
I went up yesterday (Wednesday) and decided that my only plan was to film Benji and Lily in their natural state (not on line, unbrushed and in their herd environment) and to carry on the 22ft desensitisation.
I took about 16mins of footage and that has been the only video I've been able to edit and publish so far. The song is "What More Do You Want?" by The Plain White Tee's and I thought it was very fitting as they're both wanting my attention solely on them. It also seems to fit in timewise which is awesome. Notice how much more confident Lily is, it's fantastic! I really do think that with time and more situations like this where the foreign object didn't turn out to be a lion will build even more confidence and she'll reveal an innate LBe/LBi character. I can guarantee that she hasn't always been more right brain; abuse, mistrust and a breakdown in horse-human communication caused it.
That video was after I played friendly game desensitisation with Benji on line. He knew the score and after having sticky feet then pawing the ground at the start; he was licking and chewing, blinking, had slack in the rope and good head carriage. This will blow your minds though for those who know Lily... As I was doing 100% retreat whilst smacking the end of the 22ft line on the floor she was following me at liberty every step of the way! Having both ponies not entirely sure that I'm sane but treating me as the leader was awesome and as soon as I got nice soft expressions from both for more than 3 steps I quit and turned him out.
You will see from the videos I took of him prior to the play session why I was so happy with him even then. He was being the cocky, pushy little dude that I know and love, I was even letting him overdo the 'I'm boss hoss' act so I can get his confidence back. I explained in the films that have yet to be edited whilst he was frisking me for treats and nudging/nipping my hands: I am not unknowingly letting him walk all over me. I'm very much aware and I am happy about that behaviour because his recent right-brain characteristics were concerning. I feel that I could always put him back in his place when dominant but find it harder to encourage trust and confidence from him when he is wide-eyed and starey. I'd much rather him behave like that than act like he's shell-shocked because Benji is a very happy, charismatic, cheeky little guy and we love him that way!
I hope you can pick up on my radiating happy vibes that he was left brain yesterday! Wahoo! :)
Expect more vids soon and you can always catch them on my youtube channel anytime.
Yesterday I went up for some UDT with Benji on line. I wanted to understand more so I thought that'd be the best thing to do. I brushed him for a little while which he tolerated but didn't enjoy so I put the gel-mit-brush-thing on the floor. Within seconds Lily was touching it with her nose, licked it, picked it up in her mouth, wiped the floor with it and then chucked it up and down. I was absolutely gobsmackingly happy and I wish I had taken my camera. Ah well! Molly wanted to see what it was next to she moved Lily away, pawed it and, once she'd decided she couldn't eat it, walked off. Lily then went to play with it again and Molly got defensive and shoved her off so I picked up the brush and hurled it halfway across the field. Lily cantered after it and played like a kitten with a ball of string for ages, I'm so happy that she's gaining confidence and developing her curiosity. Lily isn't often in a playful mood because it's a rare occasion that her safety and comfort needs are fulfilled.
Benji was very introverted and sometimes I've noticed he'll try and bite if he's feeling defensive so it's not always left brain behaviour. I also realised that him pawing the ground wasn't him being a snotty gimp; it was right brain introversion. I feel as though I've been reading him wrong and that he could be a RBi who can go LBe rather than the other way round. I think the main things are that he's not keen on the friendly game and the longer rope, carrotstick and savvy string worry him so we started desensitisation with the 22ft today and will carry on with it for the next 7 days and reassess from there.
To see if there's a pattern or to try and make sense of it all; one of the things I'm going to do is to mark under my blog entries whether he was mostly Left-Brain or Right-Brain in that session.
I've unfortunately been very busy with my degree course and other things this week so I've been able to play with Benji and hang out with Lily just twice in the 6 days. This has bummed me out but it's gotta be done. Not to mention that the weather has been terrible! When I've had a spare moment I've been thinking about PNH of course but mainly the change in Benji. I just still can't understand where it went wrong and I'm sad because he is more introverted and I don't know the reason yet. So many questions whizz around my head like have I knocked the learning confidence out of him? Where did I put too much pressure on him? How long has he been like this? Do I now have two RBi's? Have I caused this? *tension headache* Plenty more questions too. I just wish I knew. =(
Benji's mum came up today for a visit to see how Benji and Lily are doing since she last saw them, it was really great to be able to sit and have a natter about Parelli with someone who understands. Sometimes it's a little hard not having a Parelli student who lives close but I have so much support from the SC and it's members that it makes up for it. :)
She brought the Patterns with her and I had a brief look at the online and freestyle packs and I am really anticipating my copy to come. I got an email from parcelforce saying 48 hours so hooray!
We went up the yard and I was wondering whether yesterday was a fluke and today he was still a little spaced out but I felt a bit more in control of the situation. I keep trying to figure out where the change has come from and it might not matter too much; what matters is the present. But if I can understand then I can avoid making the mistake again if I did something wrong to cause it. So many questions, oh boy! I knew not to put much pressure on him and thought that taking him out around the yard for a graze would be warmly received by him! The vet is coming to visit him and Lily soon so I thought that reintroducing him to the stables and getting him confident with them would be helpful. I expected a bit more right-brain behaviour because last time he went a little O_O and had to move his legs. This time he was very good, nice and calm and boldly stepped in and out of the stable. If we spend a little time each day around there he will be more confident for when the vet comes.
Lily bit Benji on the face and poor Nat got stuck in the middle and it got me thinking about LtheL and how Lily fits into it all. I've done about half the charts for her recently but she's such a complex little mare that I sometimes look and want to move/get rid of/add a dot here and there.
To try and understand Benji's current situation a bit better I am analysing the LtheL concept, seperating the situation into segments to see what may have caused it. So far I have done a confidence up and horsenality for his confidence in his leader (me!) and it doesn't seem to be our chink in the chain. Once I'm done with all 5 I'll be putting them up so prepare yourselves for a LONG post. ;)
Today after the weekend off to reassess things and to clear my mind I went up to play with Benji today. I decided for the first time in a little while I'd have a plan but be willing to abandon it if needs be. He was waiting right at the gate for me and I thought that seeing as my plan would be to work on driving using a figure of eight with two cones, I might need the 22ft line. This is one of the few times I'd used it and previously Benji has found it a little spooky following me alongside him wherever I go. I really don't know whether that was 100% the reason why he was the way he was or whether it was deeper than that. Right from the get-go today he was mildly right brain introvert. I thought "Oh no." and sat a little while to gather my thoughts and decided that I'd see what games made him better or worse as a starting point. All but the porcupine game made him go very starey-eyed and he kept trying to walk back to the herd who were incidentally only 10metres away. I decided that asking him to move in a consistent pattern may help so we played with the two cones in a figure of eight. He was blinking a little but still looking like a rabbit in headlights. I decided that maybe interrupting the pattern may help him check back in, not so helpful. Maybe only doing games I know he's confident with might help his confidence, didn't help much either. I was quickly running out of arrows. I tried all that I could think of including advance and retreat, emphasis on retreat, taking the pressure off, just chilling etc. etc. I tried to reflect on our last session to see if it could help me understand. Our last session was UDT and inbetween frisking me for treats and grazing he looked C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T. Our last online session he was a little off-colour and he wasn't confident with the changes of direction or transitions. Perhaps that is what did it, I don't know. I decided to set it up for success and drove him from zone 3 around the field wherever he wanted to go to end on a good note before I loosed him off. I left feeling so frustrated with myself that I couldn't get him back to his usual self and I was petrified that this is how he'll be from now on. After some cooling off I have now decided that I won't jump to conclusions 'til I see how he is tomorrow. If he is still RBi or has those moments I will completely reassess our relationship, his confidence in me, the herd, his environment and in the seven games. This morning I kept saying over and over in my head, "I CAN'T deal with two right brain ponies, I just CAN'T!", now I am calmer and looking on the bright side I am confident that it would be very perplexing if Benji did have a horsenality transplant last night but that I CAN deal with it. When I looked for a levels pony I pretty much wanted something that was rideable and less challenging than Lily and he still ticks those boxes. He might be a little more complex than I first thought out but that's cool because it means, although it might take me longer to get through the levels, I will get there with more savvy. For all I know I might go up tomorrow and he'll be his usual self, if so, great. If not then I will go "Oh boy!" and try to figure out even more what has caused it and what I can do to help!
So this morning I wasn't feeling so good so I just went up again to spend some more UDT with the terrible twosome. Lily trusted me enough today to touch her face and she was so happy to get her forehead and bottom of her ears scratched. I watched her every movement to pick up when she was confident and when she wasn't, when I should turn my foghorn off her, when I can apply a little more pressure. There's a 50/50 chance I'll get it right when she wants me to do something and for the most part I seem to be doing quite well with trying to understand what that is. As we were moseying about from grass patch to grass patch I tried to get my legs in sync with her front legs because I know that the pattern seems to calm her. She has been licking me a lot over the past few weeks and I'm not sure whether it's because it's affection or because I taught her to lick the back of my hand before she got a treat to discourage nipping/grabbing. I think it's affection because she licks my arms, knees, shoulder and sometimes forehead (yuck!) and not just the back of my hand.
I called Benji over after a while so I could spend time with both of them and Lily pinned her ears back and tried to move him away. He pretty much ignored her and we hung out. I tried to find Benji's itchy spots with little success and was trying to prove to him that my whole existance is not just to give him treats. After an hour or so of being in the herd I started walking up the field to put the electric fence that we used for the tracter and topper to get through without letting the horses out. I said my goodbyes to both and started walking up and they both followed! Lily will follow me frequently now but Benji not so much so I was happy about that. It got me thinking that I must've been a good leader today.
I then started to think why, out of 3 dominant ponies, was Benji the leader? I thought of the qualities a great leader needs and realised that Lily wasn't fair as she will try and tell Benji/Molly off for little reason nor is she courageous enough. Molly is not interesting/provocative enough for two exuberant horsenalities to follow, she never wants to play and only wants to eat. Benji, although the smallest, is a very subtle leader to the unknowing eye. Those who don't know could say that Molly was because she moves Lily about a lot. But Benji is a fair leader and will only exert his leadership upon Molly and Lily when they challenge him or don't do as he asks at phase 1 or 2. He doesn't have to prove himself constantly, he engages in play with Lily to keep her happy and eats/reserves energy a lot to keep Molly happy. He doesn't spook easily but he'll move his feet if something poses a threat to his herd. He's sensitive but not too sensitive and isn't hot headed. Although it obviously annoys Molly and Lily sometimes that he's boss hoss, he doesn't care because it is what it takes to keep them safe. I think he is a great leader and has helped sort out the herd dynamics.
I look at how Benji interacts with the two mares and know that I could certainly learn a few leadership lessons from him to become a better leader for him and Lily. I can also easily see why Benji thinks he is boss out of the two of us sometimes if he is leader over two big cob mares. I think fairness is a huge quality when it comes to leadership both with horses and the rest of the world. It's the knowing when to praise and when to reprimand that makes it tricky but hey, we've got a 50/50 chance and they aren't bad odds.
Sorry guys, hope you didn't think I'd dropped off the fact of the earth! I've been busy this week with boring field management tasks and my uni work.
Tuesday I went up with the intention of getting the transitions online real good so we could get off them. It was so peaceful that once Benji had caught me we just chilled out for a while. We moseyed over near Lily and she took one look at me and ran off, not good. So I excused myself from Benji and went to play the catching game with Lily. I was trying to figure out what I'd done wrong to cause that reaction and I think it was because on the Monday I had driven them into their new field with the carrotstick and didn't 'check in' with her afterwards. Within 10 minutes she was shoving her head into the ropehalter so that was cool. We then joined the rest of the herd and hung out with them for a while. Nothing like a good session of UDT in nice weather.
Thursday I'd come up with no intention of playing with them as I was busy but we hung out some more at liberty and for the first time in well over a year Lily groomed me, I was so happy!
Well Benji had some fun today! It makes me smile just thinking about it. We had a play and worked on transitions again and change of direction with a little success. So after he was calm and ready to ride I hopped on and he instantly took charge. He'd go when he wanted to, stopped when he wanted to and as we were going round he suddenly pinned his ears back so I thought "ah, plotting... Plotting, let's see what you got!" and he put his head inbetween his legs and I was like "oh no you don't!!" It was kinda funny and even though I'm certain he's never done it before in his life, I knew it was coming. Good old dependable Benji! After that I worked on lots of disengagement (thank you for that section on the new DVD, Linda!) and hopped off on a good note. I rung Arran about it and he said that it is most likely because he is currently winning transitions online and change of direction so he thinks from then on he is leader. Makes sense so I'm going to get those going good 'til I hop on his back again. I was worried that he is bored in the round corral but he reassured me that up until level 3 he'll be pretty bored because it's still basic horse language. He said to keep my safety a priority and still ride him in the corral unless I'm confident we'll be okay out of it. I still thought we had a good session regardless of the naughty thoughts in his head. Hehehe :)
Today I felt as though I'd been neglecting Lily a bit so I spent about half an hour with her just chilling. I picked out all four feet using advance and retreat, it took a while but we got there in the end. Then I sat down and she stood behind me for ages and then gave me a thorough licking on my arms, lovely! All the time we were hanging out, Benji was closeby wanting attention. When I turned her out, something unexpected happened. When I grabbed Benji's halter Lily stood inbetween Benji and I and tried to chase him off. That was a little strange. So I kindly told her that I am the one who decides who I'll play with and caught Benji. I took him into the big field to have a play and we worked on sharpening up the sideways game and also transitions online. I only had my 12ft line with me which I was annoyed about because I couldn't give him any drift on the circle if he got anxious. We got good results but I was left feeling a little frustrated at myself because he had been introverted and I hadn't noticed. So afterwards I spent an hour grazing with him, playing stick to me and took him down to our tackroom for some treats. Whilst we were there I grabbed a bucket, practised lateral flexion then just hopped on there and then which I thought was rather brave of me. Then we walked back up to the top of the field so I could turn him out and I knew I'd fixed our relationship when instead of walking off, he wouldn't go anywhere I wasn't going.
So, it's settled. I'm definately going to Stoneleigh on the 22nd of June for four days and I know it's 10 months away but I am SO EXCITED! :)
Today we got cracking and although I'm trying not to set goals, I want to make sure we're ready for the course so we started transitions online today. First of all Benji would just hide his hiney and look like this O_O. I stood and thought for a moment as to why he reacted the way he did and I realised that I'd been a doofus and not lead zone 1. After I twigged I tried again and he instantly got it. He's such a good boy. We also had a bit of a ride around the field he's in with the mares and he got a bit RB which made me a little nervous but even when RB Benji is quite predictable so I knew what to expect. We practised our trotting for a little while and also follow the rail for the level 1 assessment we'll be filming for soon. Had a pretty good day. :)
My name is Lucy Middleton, I'm 17 years old and from the United Kingdom.
I started Parelli in January 2008 and it has been an incredible journey so far. Pre-Parelli I did the best with what I knew but now I know better; I want to do better!
This is my blog to document my progress as a natural horseman.
Want to 'follow' my blog, fellow blogspotters? Add my url to your list on your dashboard to stay upto date!
It's not about disposable horses; it's about relationships for life.
It's not about quick fixes and artificial aids, it's about savvy; true understanding and expertise.
It's not about winning and others losing; It's about win-win: you and the horse need to feel good.
It's not about me me me; It's about changing the world for horses, becoming a person of knowledge and influence, and sharing what you know.
It's not about fear and doubt; It's about unconditional love and trust.
Love for the empowerment of others and trust that you'll never ask the horse to do something that would hurt or diminish his dignity.
Reveal your horse. Discover your potential. Live your dream.
posted by Lucy at 
It was kinda funny and even though I'm certain he's never done it before in his life, I knew it was coming. Good old dependable Benji!
