Sunday 19 October 2008
Refriendling the friendly game is going well! Tail is less J shaped, a bit more blinking, floppy bottom lip at times and I seem to be pushing the right buttons because he's doing plenty of licking and chewing. I can even move the carrotstick rhythmically in an arc facing him and he remains calm. I think I lost sight of the importance of the friendly game previously and it crumbled little by little. Lesson learnt and it won't happen again. This week will be more of the same and its a bit tedious at times but I'm learning a lot about Benji by focusing more on one specific thing. :)
posted by Lucy at 4:08 pm - 1 comments
Thursday 16 October 2008
As of today I am officially overhauling my plans!
My plans and high expectations of myself have been causing problems in my head; stress, feelings of pressure, uselessness and frustration etc. SO if you are no longer happy with something you either change it or change your feelings towards it. This is something I can change so I will.
I reflected today whilst just hanging with Hoover (one of my numerous nicknames for Benji) and I thought to myself: 
"What is the biggest issue here? Why are we in this rut?"
"Our Friendly Game is broken."
"Why?"
"I have not played enough of it for it to become pleasant for Benji; he tolerates introvertedly and panic will escalate. Every time I think I am rewarding him for something he does not see it as a reward, he sees it as pressure. I need to be a better leader and teach him the difference between life up motivational pressure and life down Friendly Game. I need to instill confidence in him that I am a leader to be trusted and thusly my toys should be trusted to."

Essentially, everything in Parelli comes down to the Friendly Game and the relationship. Success within the programme isn't having a horse that can jump 4ft or do flying changes at liberty, these things are nothing if the relationship isn't there.
Our relationship isn't as good as it has been previously because he is mostly Right-Brain introvert at the moment and I have been treating him as a Left-Brain extrovert. That may be his innate horsenality but because he hasn't done too much for a good long while, his comfort zone is very small. Almost like someone who can drive but only has driven to and from the local shops every week for years and then they are asked to drive long distances on very busy roads all of a sudden. Of course, he needs to be out of his comfort zone to learn but I have often passed the point of learning to the point where I've knocked his confidence. It is very easy to do, especially with horses who appear very confident and chilled but are really quite sensitive. All I might've done at one point is a phase 3 a few too many times when he needed more time to think, sometimes that is all it takes. I don't know... 
I could spend ages trying to think about what I did wrong but instead I know that if the Friendly Game is broken, we won't progress until we've fixed it. So until I am satisfied that we're on much better terms and he is showing less introverted behaviour, we'll be Friendly Gaming in each session and the other 6 games can have a holiday. This is how I think we will get unstuck, pick ourselves up and carry on. Otherwise things will turn ugly and I do not want to turn the 7 games into the 7 tortures and give Benji a good reason not to want to be with me.

Today after reflection and the revelation, I played Friendly Game! Mainly Friendly Game rubbing with carrotstick minus the savvy string (I want him to be confident with the CS before the SS comes back into play) in 4 zones. Once I got past the middle of his back he stopped blinking for a little while, with A&R he seemed to relax and I thought 'cool, this doesn't seem so bad' until I got to his tail and realised it was absolutely clamped inbetween his cheeks. How interesting! 
I played some more Friendly Game including a few moderate-pressure friendly games (Bumping the ground with the CS and bringing it back onto his back, rub, repeat. Rubbing then bumping it on my shoulder and bringing it back onto him, rub, repeat etc.) to encourage him to unstick his feet a little and show him that he can move his feet if he's anxious, that if I move the CS with a little speed it doesn't always mean my life is up and I want him to do something. General desensitisation and we got some licking and chewing, his tail was a little less tight. 
Then I upped it a notch and retreated whilst waving the CS in a rainbow, a little advance, more retreat and eventually he was stood, relaxed and blinking whilst I did this which is pretty big for him. I was really pleased with that so I turned him out on a good note with a sense that this was definately the right path for us at the moment. I'll be thinking about his short term goals because I am scrapping the other ones on his page. I'll also be thinking about several Friendly Games for different situations and which ones would benefit him the most at the moment.

What a long blog post, phew. If you read it all you get a cookie! ;)
posted by Lucy at 2:56 pm - 2 comments
Saturday 11 October 2008
Friendly/UDT/Scratch itchy spots day!
I didn't have much time so I just went to see Benji and hang out with him. It was hard at first because Lily was trying to protect me and even if I moved her away politely she'd be offended. So once she got bored and walked off I was determined to find itchy spots on Benji. In the past I've gotten lip-quivers but never a proper 'ohhhh that's good!' itchy spot, today I got a few smiles which was an improvement! Out of Love, Language and Leadership we've been lacking a bit of the love so this next week I'll really focus on becoming his best bud rather than his nagging drill-master. Its hard to find a balance inbetween LBe frisking me for treats/being bored and RB introversion, being tense when we just focus on the friendly game but I want to fix it so badly and I will!
posted by Lucy at 7:20 pm - 0 comments
Thursday 9 October 2008
Today I went up just to check up on them as per usual but I took my halters out of the car in the hope that Lily or Benji might want to play. As soon as Lily saw me she was at the gate waiting patiently so I took her out and played the catching game, stick to me on line and at liberty and friendly game on the move. I am so sick of friendly game on the move but to get the heck off of it onto something else I need Lily and Benji to be okay with it. Lily was tolerant, a bit introverted but when we got a nice steady rhythm and pace she licked and chewed, I'd stop and we'd then start again.
If someone were to tell me a few months ago that I'd be able to turn Lily out in a full acre, walk around with her by my side and recatch her without resistance; I would've said they were delusional. So the fact that I was able to and did do so was a nice, short but sweet positive session. :)
posted by Lucy at 7:54 pm - 1 comments
Monday 6 October 2008
My dad rang me on the way to work to say that Benji was out in the big field. Last night I'd sectioned off an area for him to stay in overnight for the next few weeks whilst there's a lot of grass to give him a break. Well he didn't think much of that idea and broke some more fence posts. So we had an early play today.

He wasn't in a playing mood because he just wanted to get back to his mares (his ho's) but because I'm busy this week finishing up my Arts and Humanities course (then a break 'til February, woohoo!) and getting things ready for Tyler's birthday/our 3rd anniversary I didn't know when I'd get any chance to play.
We played friendly game on the move and he went completely right brain like we'd never done it before *sigh*... I mean, oh boy! although it's hard to feel enthused because we've been trying to fix this for ages. He tried bolting off a few times and when I asked him to walk he thought I was restricting his movement and either bronced/double-barrel-kicked, not sure which. My emotional fitness was being tested but I knew if I kept stopping when he behaved like this; I'd have another learned behaviour to undo. It took 20 minutes and plenty of licking and chewing but we got a relatively calm friendly game on the move in walk on both sides. Although I'm expecting another difficulty with it because he just does not want to accept it. I must admit I was suprised when he either bronced/D-B-K'd but when thinking about it he was feeling trapped so it's understandable, I'll have to think about what made him think I was saying 'stop' rather than 'walk'. He licked and chewed after one of his bolts because I couldn't control the front end and kept friendly-gaming the back so that is something that I can guarantee I'll have to deal with again, silly me.

We then did sideways and usually I ask without a carrot-stick but I remembered that Arran said working without it if he's fearful of it will boost our relationship but it'll depleat faster if I reintroduced it so to use it all the time. He was obedient and understood but his eyes were wide and starey so I stopped after 3 good sideways steps, he licked and chewed. Then one time he was blinking whilst doing 3 good steps I gave him a treat afterwards so from then on he was doing sideways a little then being bolshy and demanding treats. I had to change my leadership and show him that the treats are handed out for good behaviour and not when he wants them. After a bit of a better attitude we moved on and moseyed around before I turned him out.

Probably not the best of ideas to ask him to play when he's sulky but this is what winter is about; if you can find time inbetween non-horsey life, field management and feeding... Play! Although instead of starting with friendly game on the move I should've done something we both find easy to see which side of the field he woke up on. "Play with the horse that shows up."
posted by Lucy at 10:56 am - 0 comments
Thursday 2 October 2008
I managed to sneak in a play session this morning and our friendly game on the move was much better; I recognised his threshold and played as close to his paddock as possible which helped. Once I saw him licking and chewing and his face softened I thought 'it's going great, we'll just do a little bit more' and then I remembered that Panda both say 'if your horse has done something right, move off of it' i.e. do something else!
So I have planned to slowly introduce 'touch it' with treats to get him more curious. Although he's confident, unless the thing is food or other horses, he's not overly bothered about an object. I planted carrots around the place and drove him from zone 3 to go get them. They were all on objects low to the ground so I felt a bit stuck when I kept sending Benji to the object for him to just stand and stare into space by it. I then asked him to lower his head to the objects. We've never had much success with it but I know it's something that's important so why put off something 'til tomorrow when you can do it today! After several attempts, Benji was lowering his head and keeping it low after a phase two porcupine and finding the carrots. He wasn't as enthused as I thought he'd be but hopefully as we do it more he'll start looking for these treats.

Plenty of licking and chewing today and the weather was great. My new winter coat has arrived too and it's lovely so happiness all round! :)
posted by Lucy at 3:05 pm - 0 comments
Wednesday 1 October 2008
Okay while little Dillon sleeps I'll post an update about how our lesson went on Wednesday. I had a really great time. Arran gave me new arrows to get our friendly game on the move actually friendly, Benji still doesn't get it sometimes that it is a friendly game and either goes RB and speeds up or crowds me. It took a while but I worked through his adrenaline and we got a good result at the end. I will now practise it a little each session so even if I'm doing a rigorous friendly game that Benji will maintain a rhythmic gait and be thinking rather than going introverted. Our Friendly game is probably the weakest because he's tense when I'm using the carrotstick but the Friendly Game on the move will fix that.
We also played figure-8s and I'd told Arran that I was finding it hard to ask him to trot it but keep calm. So he also gave me some pointers for that and suggested that driving the shoulder rather than drawing him towards me would help him gain respect with his shoulders because he's too bargy with them. It was really fun to play at the trot with Benji, because he's mainly an extrovert he does enjoy playing the games at a higher level.
Having to be a bit more firm for both exercises made me realise that I tend to be more carrot than stick i.e. too gentle than too firm for fear of adding insult to injury in Right-Brain moments. I need to really find a balance between carrot and stick and go either side in the right situations.

I then had my first ride in my new Wintec Wide and Theraflex pad, I was really happy and comfortable and I think Benji was too! He was much more obedient during the ride with his lateral flexion and steering, very responsive about yielding his HQ's which I was pleased with. Arran gave me a few things to work on in preparation for sideways freestyle.

So I've got to better:
Friendly game on the move in walk, think about friendly game in trot if walk is great
Porcupine game FQ & HQ yield
Teach Benji 'touch it' online and freestyle
Indirect rein

Over all we had a great lesson! :)
posted by Lucy at 10:50 pm - 0 comments
About Me
My name is Lucy Middleton, I'm 17 years old and from the United Kingdom.
I started Parelli in January 2008 and it has been an incredible journey so far.
Pre-Parelli I did the best with what I knew but now I know better; I want to do better!
This is my blog to document my progress as a natural horseman.

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Lily


    I am owned by this gorgeous piebald cob mare, Lily. She's an interesting character, fun to play with and is a great teacher.

    There's more about her on her own page.
The Philosophy
    It's not about disposable horses; it's about relationships for life.
    It's not about quick fixes and artificial aids, it's about savvy; true understanding and expertise.
    It's not about winning and others losing; It's about win-win: you and the horse need to feel good.
    It's not about me me me; It's about changing the world for horses, becoming a person of knowledge and influence, and sharing what you know.
    It's not about fear and doubt; It's about unconditional love and trust.
    Love for the empowerment of others and trust that you'll never ask the horse to do something that would hurt or diminish his dignity.

    Reveal your horse. Discover your potential. Live your dream.
    -Parelli
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