| Tough times. |
"If you're going through hell... Keep going." - Winston Churchill
This week has been tough on me and unfortunately it won't get easier any time soon. My partner of three years, Tyler, has ended our relationship... By phone none-the-less. I had not been dealt the easiest of cards in my early teens so I've experienced a lot of hurt and pain but nothing like this. My body physically hurts, I can't seem to get this ugly situation out of my head for long and I know that the only thing that is going to make it hurt less is time. Relativity being what it is though, because I shall want time to pass so I can stop hurting as much, it'll go slower. That's irony for you.
However, since last I experienced any hardship close to this I have come so, so far. I am much stronger, braver and give a damn about myself this time round. I will rise from the ashes as I have always done and always will do, it'll just take time. Right now I am in the state of shock which I think may be the worst state because I go for a little time thinking nothing has changed then I remember and break down. It's normal though because I honestly thought this would never happen. I will be okay, more than okay, just not for a while.
In regards to horses, the only change is that I'm not sure how/if I will get to Arran's clinics because I relied on Tyler's mum to trailer the horse(s). I have no idea what I'll do because a professional hauler (I haven't doubled checked yet but from what I've heard off a friend) will set me back about £120 for a return journey for just 30 miles because it's not a day trip. I'll just hope that someone is generous enough to help me out and keep my fingers crossed.
Thank goodness I have Lily, my friends and family to lean on right now. I have no idea what I'd do to busy myself/focus on right now if I didn't do Parelli. For now I'm going to submerge myself into my horsemanship and uni course and 'just keep swimming' as Dorey would say off finding Nemo, heh. I gotta let myself hurt when I need to but not too much to the extent that it hinders rather than helps.
Today, I went out, took a deep breath before I got out of the car to clear any thoughts that weren't about Lily. She came straight to me and we played with purity of gait/confidence in higher gaits, she did so well and I didn't let what's going on in other aspects of my life affect my emotions/judgement for one second. So, for that, I'm proud of myself as well as Lily. Hooray for emotional fitness! |
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My name is Lucy Middleton, I'm 17 years old and from the United Kingdom.
I started Parelli in January 2008 and it has been an incredible journey so far.
Pre-Parelli I did the best with what I knew but now I know better; I want to do better!
This is my blog to document my progress as a natural horseman.
Want to 'follow' my blog, fellow blogspotters? Add my url to your list on your dashboard to stay upto date!
View my profile
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I am owned by this gorgeous piebald cob mare, Lily. She's an interesting character, fun to play with and is a great teacher.
There's more about her on her own page.
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It's not about disposable horses; it's about relationships for life.
It's not about quick fixes and artificial aids, it's about savvy; true understanding and expertise.
It's not about winning and others losing; It's about win-win: you and the horse need to feel good.
It's not about me me me; It's about changing the world for horses, becoming a person of knowledge and influence, and sharing what you know.
It's not about fear and doubt; It's about unconditional love and trust.
Love for the empowerment of others and trust that you'll never ask the horse to do something that would hurt or diminish his dignity.
Reveal your horse. Discover your potential. Live your dream.
-Parelli
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Profile designed, made and coded by Lucy Parelli Student.
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posted by Lucy at 