Lucy's Parelli Journey

Saturday 6 December 2008

I am so happy and pleased with myself for the first time in ages! I have had such a great lesson today with Arran.
Recently, I've been absolutely ridden with self-doubt that I can't do this and each time I get up the yard to play, I wuss out and play friendly game in zone 2 & 3 because I know its something Lily is comfortable with or just go give Benj a cuddle. I was hoping that this lesson would give me a push in the right direction and give me a bit of faith that things'll come good. Arran reassured me that I sell myself far too short, that I've come a long way and I've made it a big deal when it isn't. I told him I think that the main problem is that I am taking things too seriously and not having fun. After showing him what I've been upto in the past month, he was very pleased and said we needed to kick it up a notch... Oh boy!
He asked me to show me a bit of our porcupine game, he said it was good but I need to refine it for next time and then I did some driving and he was pleased with that. So then, my dear readers, in the next hour I was progressive did something I never thought I'd be able to do any time soon...
I was driving Lily from zone 5 and backing her by the tail!!!
She was fantastic and I actually felt SAVVY! She was receptive, relaxing, licking and chewing plenty and we both got it so quickly and started having fun with it. I was smiling for the first time in ages and it felt good! We played follow the rail, walk forward one step, back by the tail two etc. and it was fab! After such a great play, we had about 20 minutes left but I wanted to end on a good note and Arran agreed.

I was concentrating so hard that about 10 minutes before the end, I felt dizzy all of a sudden and couldn't understand it. I had stopped breathing for ages and didn't even realise! So I made a concious effort to breathe and felt much better. Its so funny that, because I was thinking about doing so many different things, one of my most basic things I needed to do I forgot about!
After we'd finished, I was in complete shock that I did so well though, I'm still surprised. I was a completely different person, I was Savvy and I didn't doubt myself once.
I had been thinking of trying to put her out on loan to a level 3 student but Arran told me not to because I am more than capable of bringing her on myself and you know what? I'm starting to believe him. :)

Why backing by the tail can prove to be tricky for horses from my perspective.
Horses, being prey animals, are concerned about their safety and staying alive. Naturally, they would ideally want their pet predators (you) to be in zone 1 (nose and 1 mile infront of them) so they can protect their bodies and keep an eye on you. Usually, a person pulling on a horse's tail would make horses instinctively run forwards or lash out with their hind legs. This is because they are claustrophic, naturally lean against pressure and do not want to get their bum bitten. So going with the pressure by backing toward a human is the ultimate test of trust and friendly game. Some horses may also be hesitant about the task because they would worry about their leader reprimanding them for moving into their space. In the wild, they would not back into a horse unless they were asking for trouble!

***

I will no longer let my fear of failure get in the way of playing with Lily. I get scared because I do not want to make Lily worse and that is me assuming I will because I have a low self-esteem these days. So before I even start the session, that is not setting myself up for success; I am expecting to fail by worrying about it so much. I am going to read 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' cover to cover, I have been meaning to and remind myself to look at how much Lily and I have achieved in such a short time and that I can do this! Sure, there will be good and bad days but the good days will outweigh the bad days in no time, once I have developed a little faith in myself. I tell myself that Lily needs a better leader and she does, I am going to step up to the challenge!
I want to be recreation for my pony and to be the best leader I can be for her. Its going to be hecka hard but it will be worth it. Days like this make all the blood (ropeburns, biting, kicking in the past), sweat and tears worth it!!

And a quick note concerning the forum activity yesterday: I am staying off the forum for a while because the tone has gone sour and I don't want it to drag me down right now.
Anyone who has a negative view of me now is welcome to; what people think of me is none of my business.
What I will remind folk of is that I personally did not insult anyone nor did I speculate on Allure OR Linda. I do not have an opinion on Allure's lameness, I do not know enough to have one but I got involved because I was learning about lameness and feet from someone who knows a lot about them (Leah) and purity of gait from others and wham, the thread was gone.
I was insulted by the faculty by not getting a response as to why the thread was deleted with no explanation. That is all I wanted to say and no, I do not want to talk about it further.

posted by Lucy at 2:11 pm -

1 Comments:

At 6 December 2008 at 19:27, Merlin said…

awsome lucy well done loved reading your blog!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!